Alleee and Franc's

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Test Yourself

We always like to measure ourselves and compare ourselves to others. Personality tests are now a staple of women's magazines and surveys are a modern industry. It is not surprising that the Internet has followed this tendancy. Now you can follow Socrates' advice : "know thyself". But remember that there are occasions where ignorance can be bliss...

You have probably been on SelectSmart before, even if you didn't know it. They aren't kidding when they say they are "The Internet's biggest collection of selectors". The problem is that they were all made by internet visitors who wanted to make a test and show it to their friends on their comic message board or whatever, and so most of the tests are nonsense. The person behind this web site should be publicly ridiculed. Still, where else can you test which Gilligan's Island character you are most like ? Apparently, I am more like the Professor.

If SelectSmart is the cheap whore of online tests, TheSpark is the trophy wife. I think some of their tests uses psychometry because they are so uncanny. You can find out anything from the obvious - your gender, your sexual orientation, your purity score, your chance of pregnancy - to the bizarre - bastard and bitch quotients, the slut test, and so on.

-The Death Clock
It's time to come to grips with your own mortality. Enter your birth date, gender, and learn when you will die. Now you can do your will and buy your coffin in advance !

-Serial Killer Quiz
Have you ever stolen something and then justified it in your heart of hearts? Were you successfully toilet trained at a conventional age? You just might be the kind of person who will one day snap and kill dozens of innocents. I scored "borderline".

-How Feminine am I ?
For women, obviously. A test from the "Christian Charm Students Manual", evaluating how "feminine" you are. To my alarm, Alleee only scored 50%. But then again, choosing between "Sexual purity" and "Unchastity" is just a no-contest now is it.

-What kind of wife are you?
The author of "The Surrendered Wife" offers you a test to measure how surrended a wife you are. Get those white flags ! Alleee scored 85%, which goes to show that anyone qualifies except psychotics (I hope she won't kill me for that last comment). Maybe the author should discuss this with the author of the "Christian Charm Students Manual".

-Hello Kitty "Fill in the blanks" Psychological Test
Hello Kitty meets psychoanalysis with this "Fill in the blanks" psychological test made entirely in Flash, and in broken English. A real gem. My result indicates that "as long as you are in the natural environment, you will be peaceful to resolve any problems". Yes.

-What will you be reincarnated as?
AllTheTests is another "test mill". Sometimes you get gems like this "What will you be reincarnated as? " quiz. Apparently I will be reincarnated as a god. "It's a good thing there aren't too many people like you -- if everyone had such good karma, the human race would disappear, and reincarnate into a giant mass of beauty!". Golly, this is truly the age of aquarius,

-Insanity Test
Apparently, I am insane. Why am I not surprised ?

review written by Franc, 07/2002.