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(Note : As of 2005, this site is down.)
If you have failed in your attempts to mate with a dolphin, reviewed in another guide, you might want to try becoming a dolphin yourself. This may seem biologically impossible, but don't worry, this time there can be no failure. This is the right guide for you.
This book on the Internet was written by one "J. G. Dolphin", in large fonts. The first thing for you to know is that, unfortunately, you cannot survive the shape-shift to dolphin in your current state. This may be a let-down, but don't worry, the authors of this site explain the process with the example of Selkie and Seaflight (which is said to have actually happened). Selkie was a female dolphin shape-shifter, and Seaflight was a human male, although with a name like that, I'd want to become a dolphin too. So, let's follow their example.
Here is how to proceed :
1. Finding a merfolk teacher
Yes, you need a teacher - more precisely, a person that is already changed into a dolphin. One may object that this would make the first shape-shifter impossible, and therefore makes no sense, but that's because you are ignorant. There are many such people in existence, and all you need to contact them is to "overlap your awareness" with them. How to do this is unclear, but it seems it helps to be happy. Something about psychic momentum.
(...) By improving the quality of life and self, a meeting with a Merperson becomes more probable.
Then it seems to help if you can make him/her fall in love with you. Depending whenever you like the smell of fish, this may not be your cup of tea. Love or not, the merfolk will obligingly teach you how to become a shape-shifter (they're pretty passive people, looks like).
2. The Shamanic lessons
Once the merfolk/water person/whatever has knocked on your door, made an emotional connection with you, and lives in your house like a leech, she (let's go with she, since there is sex involved and I don't want to feel nauseous) should now proceed to teach you Shamanic lessons to prepare you to shape-shifting. Do not be surprised if she starts splashing around in your bath at one in the morning too. That comes with the territory.
Shamanic lessons are designed to raise the human's "species-level" so that he can experience more love and compassion. The shape-shifter changes form whenever he likes, and can even use these changes for sexual purposes, as in the example of Selkie :
(...) When in sexual union with her husband she was able to engage her full god-power within the empathic link. During orgasm, she was able to launch her husband into full nomadic consciousness. Life in multi-form on the nearby planets of the Freemendom became a second level of relationship.
However, you have to be careful, because during this sexual connection the shape-shifter will sometimes put your skills to trial thru psychic confrontations with other shape-shifters. This is said to help improve your skills, but I think it's because shape-shifters are nasty bastards, but don't sweat it : one way or another, you can't get hurt.
Most sexual activity with a shape-shifter, though, are used to make "romantic compositions". There are three kinds :
In the second, which was a relatively recent artistic creation, multiple forms are experienced simultaneously. Selkie and her husband would link telepathically with many other life forms who happened to be in sexual embrace and share culturally unique romantic compositions with them.
By the end of the first year, Selkie began to employ a third, and by far more engulfing romantic art form. Rather than experiencing a romantic composition from a Human or Dolphin perspective, the alien perspective was assumed. The two lovers forgot, temporarily, that they were Human or Dolphin and became individuals of the species that had created the original romantic masterpiece.
But enough about sex. You want to keep going and learn how to shape-shift right ? Then tell your bride dolphin to stop the sex theater and proceed to the next step.
3. Finding a place of microcosm
This step is not mandatory, but may accelerate the development of your skills. Finding a place of microcosm and practicing your skills there (although not sex, unless you want to risk getting arrested) can deepen shamanic understanding.
The method to find such a place is called Emotional Surfing.
The process to create a multi-species village is also detailed here, but there is no need to get into that. After all, this is only about you, and you just don't have that kind of money. Let the others bother with creating their little human/dolphin communes. Just find a place of microcosm and practice there until you are ready to get to the final stage, the actual shape-shifting.
4. The art of changing form
At the beginning of our instructions to change form, we are advised that :
What does this mean ? I have no idea. Ask your mermaid.
The shape-shift is accomplished with the use of symbols. These symbols are : the momentum of Freedom (encoded in a story), the Mouse-Bear (a powerful vibration of awareness), a human baby (this wipes your genome clean and regresses you to a single cell in an instant - no doubt a traumatic experience), a flying reptile (which activates the evolutionary potential to dolphin form), and a crystalline pyramid (which seems to be there just for show). Each symbol has a story, told in Dolphinese, that is supposed to activate its power.
The shift itself is done in two ways : either from a lucid dream state, or by sheer shamanic mastery. The lucid dreaming state permits one to live on dolphin star ships, and unlocks the secrets of "immortality, transcendental technology, integration with trillions of advanced species and social contact with planets and stars". Shamanic mastery only permits one to shape-shift on this Earth, but is still a considerable skill. In fact, it helped quite unnatural explorers in the past :
This is not nearly all that can be read on this wonderful web site. However, I have given you here the basics on how to become a shape-shifter and hopefully, find the sexual gratification you desire. Until then, don't piss a dolphin off, or he might shift back and kick your ass.
review written by Franc, 07/2002.