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Almost all of the reviews on this site are the result of spontaneous discovery on my part. Sometimes they are the result of a personal interest of a negative kind (like my entries on Scientology here and here, or Alison's popular entries on anorexia here and here): people we love to mock on a more personal level. Very rarely do we take requests at all, and those mostly end up on our directories.
There are, of course, exceptions. A reader came to me with a nice request that I look at her uncle's web site and review it. He's a *urk* "rebirther": one of those quackpots that smother people under a pile of pillows in order to simulate coming out of the womb, or kill them. Being a scientific researcher, I naturally consider it my duty to fulfill her request.
The first thing I noticed is that, for some reason, he has taken the nickname "Lehano," probably because it sounds vaguely Indian and as we all know Indians knew everything about healing. He seems to use it a lot, for instance on his Meetup profile, where he has joined a great number of meetups like "The Northern Virginia Quantum-Touch Healing Circle" (what the...) and "The Worcester Indigo Children and Parents Meetup Group." I'm not going to go all personal on him, but he does, after all, put his own bio on the site, where he lists his manifold areas of expertise:
Now he lives in Bowie, MD, created the "The Maryland Rebirthing Academy," where he trains "Rebirther Breathworkers." By the way, if you're wondering, "what the fuck is Ho'Oponopono?", rest assured that it's a natural reaction. It sounds like one of those "lake monsters" that little towns make up to get more tourism. But it's actually really lame. It's a way for "cleansing, releasing, transmuting of energies and thoughtforms and understanding the relationship with her/himself and every molecule and atom of creation," but he never actually says how. I bet it involves candles, closing your eyes and chanting a lot (as opposed to actually understanding something about molecules, atoms and energy, which would involve, you know, science, which is anathema to any good quackpot). It's that kind of cynicism that means I never get invited to any good luau.
Aaron Starr, sorry I mean "Lehano," has a personal note for all of us:
I've always thought I would like to become more conscious (?) and let go of my resistance to aliveness (??). I've always felt I never lived quite fully in my own body, and instead have been living in computers, chairs, grass and, in some rare cases, load-bearing walls.
So what does Lehano actually do? Well, he does rebirthing, for one thing. I'm trying really hard to read his descriptions, and they just make my eyes glaze over. Even though his site is relatively small, it's so crammed full of bullshit that the people at LIFE Technology would probably want to hire him, and ask him to slow down a bit on the stream of consciousness shit.
Did your eyes do the same thing? Just started reading and then defocused and glazed over the whole thing? See, now you too know what it's like to write for this site. If he was my uncle, I would let him "charge" me with "energy," and then jump around so "energized" that I "accidentally" ram him into the wall. Or try to sell him "Mozart's Plant Cures." They're totally more holistic and integrative.
I went on the testimony page, just browsing, when suddently I read a sentence that just made me laugh very, very hard:
CELLULAR ANGUISH? Does anyone in the world talk like this? As Roger Ebert once said, if there are people who talk like this, I don't want to live near them. Here is a comment from an unnamed fellow who feels pretty much like I do when I read the site:
As for our friend A.S., I think she has some... issues:
Sanity Rating :
-180 points (He's pretty insane, but his site isn't so bad: bullshit meters may, however, explode on contact)
review written by Franc, 09/2007.