Conspiracy theories are not a subject which is discussed at any length on this site.This is for a good reason : like some other subjects, it is very bizarre but just not very entertaining. Paranormal subjects such as chemtrails or colloidal silver also tend to be rather mundane. But when you mix the two together... well, you get Educate-Yourself. Education ? No. Funny ? Quite.
Educate-Yourself
Just look at the number of pages on this baby. Yes, that's around forty pages of pure conspiracy goodness. Mmmm. The introduction is not very characteristic.
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All non-"natural" doctors are evil. This man is your enemy ! Look at his dishonest, allopathic face. He's probably a foreigner, too ! |
Of course, peer review is evil and put in quotes too, because peer review prevents "natural" (therefore good) doctors from being published in Science or JAMA. Oh, those terrible allopathic bastards, how dare they demand evidence for "natural" claims ! Why, it just makes me natural blood boil !
In the sections then. The most vital subject for Educate-Yourself is chemtrails. Conspiracy nuts use certain cloud formations formed from contrails as evidence that the government is spraying chemicals that make people really sick. What is that ? Why would the chemicals stay in the air instead of falling immediately, you ask ? Stop asking questions ! You're being critical !
Anyway, that's all old hat. What's more incredible is that they have found a solution, or at least Don Croft has. Yep, they have the "Goodbye Chemtrails, Hello Blue Skies! The Do-It-Yourself Kit for Sky Repair". It involves orgone energy, ethereal energy, crystals... Here you already get an idea of another feature of this site, the constant mix of pseudo-science. The authors of this site obviously subscribe to the idea that "more is better".
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"Praise the Holy Hand Grenade, for it will disperse the evil chemtrails of the Devil". |
Once the crystal is well in there, pour some resin and let it soak. Put some more aluminium shards (watch your fingers !) to cover the crystal and pour resin again. Now put four more quarts (sic) vertically at each cardinal point, cover it all with more aluminium and resin. You should have a thick, gooey mess with crystals in it, which you have to take out.
Mark the location of the four aligned crystals and file the material at the bottom to make a nice point so it looks even more dorky. Ta-daam ! You have a gooey mess in the form of a party hat with crystals in it ! I mean, you have a Holy Handgrenade ! It... generates... orgone energy. And... that... neutralizes.. the Evil Fields, or something. It's also a "springboard to a state of consciousness in which no external technology is needed". Wait, let me get the author to explain it for you :
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Orgone generators have the ability to focus life-positive orgone energy and break up areas of noxious, life-draining energies of DOR, a word coined by Wilhelm Reich for Deadly ORgone. Don found that his orgone generator could neutralize DOR and seemed to only generate positive, life affirming energies. Don and his wife began planting these HHg's in outdoor locations near nuclear power plants and other (classified) areas of noxious, life depleting energies and started to have a definite effect on improving the energy fields radiating from these zones. |
Translation : they don't like nuclear plants, cell phone towers, high-voltage substations, and other aerial-looking stuff, so they bury gooey messes in the form of party hats in the ground so it "feels" better. And they feel really brave for doing this.
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When the gov'rment spreads Chemicals all o'er, Who ya gonna call ? CHEMBUSTERS ! |
As for Don Croft and his wife, they also have a section all to themselves, which is full of their personal stories with space aliens and planting HHGs everywhere. It's about as exciting as... well, reading about two very gullible people going around burying weird party hats full of resin.
Well, Don Croft has some competition, because Educate-Yourself has another means to eliminate chemtrails. This one is from a guy named Rich Work, who has a web site called Harmonics International, which seems to be a good candidate to be featured on our site (their motto : "The simplicity of healing lies in the fact that there is only one disease: Low-Level Wellness". What ?).
Apparently, what we need to do to dissipate these nasty chemtrails is to read a poem and embody it (how does that work ?). This poem rather long, but starts with :
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From the Divine Love within my Being. I am one with Creation on all levels of consciousness. I call forth all energies connected to chemtrails interfering with my free-will choice and the free-will choice of humanity and all life form cocreating with humanity. I defuse and render inactive all programming connected to chemtrails in perfect sequential order on all levels of consciousness. |
The anti-medicine diatribe is continued on the "Forbidden Cures" section, where we learn that the AMA is part of the conspiracy. In fact, it's "the most arrogant, dangerous and despotic organization which ever managed a free people in this or any other age". Also, "all medical schools, teaching universities, and government health organizations such as the National Institute of Health (NIH), National Cancer Institute, National Academy of Science, etc., etc. are all under the cartel's propaganda umbrella". Only the "natural" doctors can help you restore your health safely. They then discuss a number of "natural" and magical remedies, such as ozone, uine therapy, and more novel ones like electro-magnetic therapy or "Lakhovsky's Multi-Wave Oscillator".
Many of these treatments tell the same story : there was a scientist who made an incredible discovery that cured every disease on the planet, and he started curing people, but the evil Establishment threatened him, got him to court, and forced him to close down or burned down his place. Now only the good, "natural" doctors still know about it while, for some reason, everyone else has forgotten. It seems that working for the "natural" side is very dangerous indeed (I would wager that this is because the "natural" remedies don't work, but what do I know, I'm an allopathic vilain).
Nutrition is very important for them. Apparently, soft drinks are addictive :
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(oh, you never thought of YOU as being addicted to anything? Well, answer me this: Do you have a CRAVING for soft drinks when you don't have them? If you do, then you are definitely addicted) |
So, does that mean that if I want to go to the circus and there is no circus in town, I'm addicted to circuses ? Apparently the answer is that eating Flax Seed Oil and Low Fat Cottage Cheese will prevent all kinds of bad diseases. Why ? It has to do with fatty acids and electrons, and a lot of technobabble. Just don't ask.
Another of the therapies featured is Urine Therapy, which is always a fascinating study. What kind of nonsense can get people to drink their own piss ?
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Here's your meal. Drink up! |
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To resolve life-threatening disease conditions, drink every drop of your own urine and neither eat nor drink anything else until you are completely well!! In his book, Armstong provides the history of many, many patients with a variety of serious conditions (cancers, massive infections, heart conditions, etc.) who were frequently near The End. In some cases, the patient was so gravely disabled, that he couldn't produce any urine of his own. In those cases, Armstong would 'jump start' the patient with his own urine. |
I recommend this therapy heartily to anyone who believes in this site. The only thing I wonder is, did Armstrong serve his patients "at the pump" ? You know, not reading Insolitology while eating is always a good precaution. Have I mentioned that before ? Moving on...
In "The Mind-Body Connection", we learn once again that modern medicine has it all wrong. We are not just a body, but really souls which reincarnate thru lifetimes, going at higher and higher "frequencies". We also have other spiritual beings with us :
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You have a team of Angels and Spirit Guides who have been 'assigned' to assit you during your earthly journey. Sometimes your Guides are changed or rotated depending on what sort of help you need at any given moment in your life. Guides are always beings who have experienced physical life many, many times and are very knowledgeable in the ways of the world. Your Angels, who have never experienced the physical plane, stay with you for the duration. |
The spirit guides are on rotation, which I think is nice because you must get tired of helping the same damn moron all the time. But I do want to know if they have unions. At the bottom of that page, there is a link to SpiritWeb, a site reviewed on Insolitology also.
This is only, you realize, a brief overview. There is also an introduction on the New World Order where our crowd favourites, the Illuminati, make an appearance. It's a conspiracy, you see, and their bosses are "very dark and malevolent 4th dimensional aliens". David Icke also makes an appearance.
There are also pages for various people involved in the paranormal community, and on mind-control. After a while, you start to realize that the world of the conspiracy theorist is very grim. There are powerful aliens, vast conspiracies and Establishment enemies everywhere, and then mind-control gets on top of all that. Even if you bury Holy Handgrenades, the Establishment finds them eventually and destroys them. What's a crackpot to do ?
All of this will be moot very soon anyway, I'm sure, since the site also announces a series of catastrophies for the year 2003. Be on the lookout for "massive and cataclysmic earth changes", "massive and destructive events", and that "the New World Order will kick into high gear in 2003 with massive earth changes, nuclear wars, devastating bio plagues, martial law, roundup and internment of milllions of Americans, extermination camps, and attacks from canabalistic negative aliens".
Gamera, you're our only hope !