Alleee and Franc's
INSOLITOLOGY

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Gene Ray, Cubic
Born 2 July 1927 in Cumming, Georgia.Location: Florida up until a few years ago, when he moved back to Cumming. Reported having a one-corner face on four-corner head.
Quote : "Time Cube empowers wisdom above all gods and educators. I am the wisest human of all, for I have absolute proof of 4 simultaneous 24 hour days in a single rotation of the Earth"

Gene Ray pictureGene Ray is a mysterious but relatively coherent man, of advanced age, who lives in Florida. Or so one would think if one did not have the Internet. The truth is far more sinister : Gene is the biggest oddball in the world, and the originator of the biggest oddball movement on the Internet. Preposterous, you tell me ? You have not yet experienced the glory that is Time Cube, Gene's own "Oddball Unifying Theory" (or as we fondly say here at Insolitology, the kookmotiv).

What, exactly, is the Time Cube ? Well... we think not even Gene knows. Basically, his theory starts from the nebulous premise that the Earth is a cube : not in a literal sense, but in some metaphorical sense. Envision a cube inscribed inside the Earth. Each face represents either sundown, sunup, midday or midnight. Furthermore, each face also represents a race : asian, indian, white and black race (for some reason, Jesus, Einstein, Socrates and Clinton are also involved). Because of these four corners - Gene thinks faces are corners - every day has 96 hours. Also, all clock faces are wrong, although for some reason Gene here contradicts himself and gives us a 16-hours clock instead of 96.

You have to realize that this overview is the distillation of months of research, and will not be obvious at first, or second, or third, reading of his web sites.
Case in point :

rotation of the Time Cube, seen from above Time Cube

Gaze upon this web site. Goggle at the large fonts, and realize you don't understand anything on it. You just had your first exposure to the Time Cube phenomenon.

It may seem, from a cursory reading, that Gene Ray does not have english as his first language. This would be a gross underestimation of his lunacy. Interviews have him speak perfect, if a bit Southern-accented and whistling, English. We can just imagine him typing furiously and without care at his computer, writing down the words of wisdom that flow in his mind from his wonderful, all-encompassing discovery. How else could we get such gems as :
Word is not Real nor Truth, but deadly virus of humanity, transmitted through language. Teach Time Cube, You Fools

Gene's unifying theory seems to be really heavily based on the numerology of 4. For example, he associates the number four also with the family. "Family is a 4-corner rotation, mother, father, son, daughter". Our heads, and indeed our bodies, and everything else, has 4 corners : "Your Character is cornered, 4-corner head, 1-corner face, 4-corner life metamorphosis". Every circle and sphere has 4 corners, represented by the 4 points on its circumference (in the case of the Earth, he seems to consider the poles as irrelevant). His treatment of triangles is unknown.

The way he expresses it, it would seem to be a simple consequence of three-dimensional space, and pretty useless. According to Gene, it explains everything. Indeed, it does : his is the purest unifying theory, in that it explains everything, and therefore nothing.

One of his favourite propositions is that the self is the lowest form of life. Indeed, "Self is below the family form of 4-corner metamorphosis. 1 human equates 1 corner. Family is the creation body. Village is the perpetual body". One wonders if he got that one from Hillary Clinton.

The other sections of this web site, including "The Power Above God" and "All Clock Faces Are Wrong", are equally delightful and incomprehensible.

Jason Sartin's Guide to the Time Cube

  • First things first. As you read along these points, you'll realize that understanding the Time Cube depends crucially on acid, pot, hard alcohol, and other mind-altering substances, so you should start taking those NOW and avoid the rush.
  • The Time Cube dude (meaning, the Time Cube website creator and the one behind all this bullshit) is, like, the "Greatest Thinker" and the "Wisest Human".
  • Everyone ELSE has been educated to be evil and stupid.
  • Yes, educated. Teachers are, in fact, the root of all evil, because they're making everyone evil and stupid. For some reason. This is a very important point, because most of the Time Cube website is just repeating over and over (with different wording) how stupid/evil educators are and/or how stupid/evil they've made you. (Never mind that frigging EDUCATION is largely what makes most of the things we enjoy possible, including the fucking INTERNET Mr. Wisest Human has posted his rant on.)
  • Educators enslave everyone and keep them stupid by abusing words. Because all these stupid words you use don't really mean what you think they do, you're kept evil and stupid by not understanding the goddamn Time Cube. (With all this accusing everyone of being evil and stupid, I almost forgot about that.)
  • The Time Cube is something Mr. Wisest Human has discovered that educators refuse to teach (probably on the same grounds that they refuse to teach Creationism or that the Earth is flat or that shoving sharp objects in your rectum is a good idea).
  • I'd explain what the Time Cube actually is, but that would have required Mr. Wisest Human to have explained it himself, as opposed to putting random words together and hoping they make sentences (remember, he believes that words are an evil device of enslavement).
  • If you absolutely HAVE to have SOME explanation of what the Time Cube is, then the closest anyone who is not in desperate need of medication will be able to tell you is that the number 4 is the basic number of the universe. For example, you have four corners, there are actually four days in every day (not one), four years in every year (not one), four corners on every cube (well, eight if you're actually LOOKING at the damn thing, but you're not the Wisest Human, so never mind), the world/universe/whatever has four corners, religion and academia are two of your four corners (despite having been labelled earlier as evil and stupid), et cetera. For some reason, this contradicts, condemns, and is more important than every religious and scientific book ever written.
  • If that last point didn't make too much sense, then (again) increasing your intake of illegal mind-altering substances should set things right.
  • Oh, wait. The "earth sphere" rotates within an invisible Time Cube, so that's a clue.
  • Oh, oops. Your own people will kill you to prevent the Time Cube from becoming known, so be careful.

    TimeCube is AboveGod

    His other web site, AboveGod, continues on the same style and content, but is smaller and emphasizes more on God. At least we can give him that, Gene is an atheist, but "Harmonic Cube Cubic Spirits Are Supreme Being" (egotheism ?). His two pet peeves, the worship of words and God, can easily be related to. It's just difficult to take it seriously when it's in big fonts and coloured.

    Education curse - educators are evil Another proposition that he holds dear is that the "enemy" is educators. Both sites put the emphasis on this: educators are "evil liars" and "evil bastards" who should be shot. Gene does not have respect for any science not based on his Cubic wisdom. A large proportion of his sites are devoted to repeating this in various ways again and again, and there is only so many times one person can bear reading about how schools are evil and teachers are evil and parents are evil and MIT is evil. But that's Gene Ray for you - he has never seen a rephrasing he never liked, despite none of them actually meaning anything. That's ok, since he is the Wisest Human - in fact he has dedicated an entire domain name just to that proposition.

    I have mentioned before that races get into the mix. Gene sometimes mentions during interviews that, while he thinks all races have a purpose (one wonders why a member of a given race should adhere to that purpose, but never mind rational thinking), racial integration is bad and makes a "slop".
    It is not certain how this is integrated with his idea that each race is associated with a time of the day. Maybe all the people of a race have to move to their own timezone at each quarter of day - which would make moving companies rich, but would be very inconvenient.


    From anonymous, the Time Cube Hip-Hop "NIGGAZ BE FEARIN' THE TIME CUBE TRUTH"

    FLIP THE 8 TRACK, DIVIDE IT BY TWO,
    4/16 TIME, WHAT THE FUCK YOU GONNA DO?
    NIGGAS ASK "WHAT BE HAPPENIN' HERE?"
    MAYBE IT'S TIME Y'ALL ACKNOWLEDGE YO' FEAR.
    TIME CUBE PROOF'S ABSOLUTE, IMMUTABLE,
    YOU'RE EDUCATED STUPID, YOU FIND IT INSCRUTABLE,
    CAN'T FATHOM A 4 CORNER WORLD,
    KICKIN' PHAT RHYMES FROM PAPYRUS I UNFURLED.

    I'LL POINT OUT INADEQUACIES IN YOU, FOO,
    YOUR RAP PROFESSOR IS EDUCATED STUPID TOO!
    IT'S UP TO YOUTH TO FORCE THE EDUCATORS HAND,
    SO WISE UP, OR YOU'LL INHERIT A BARREN LAND,
    CUBELESS WORD ALLOWS THE EVIL TO RULE,
    SO RISE UP, NIGGAZ, MAKE EM' TEACH CUBE IN THE SCHOOL,
    DON'T ACCEPT CUBELESS EDUCATION,
    CAUSE COMPARIN' TO CUBE IS LIKE SEX VS. MASTURBATION!

    ACADEMIC IGNORANCE OF TIME CUBE DENIES LIFE,
    DENIED LIKE LAST NIGHT WHEN I FUCKED YO' WIFE!
    YOU MUST ADMIT THAT WORD ENSLAVES HUMAN MIND,
    AND MY WORDS ARE MAKIN' Y'ALL THE COTTON PICKIN' KIND,
    STUPID AND EVIL PEOPLE CALL ME CRAZY,
    AND READIN' YO RHYMES I CAN'T HELP BUT GET LAZY,
    MUTHAFUCKAS CAN'T OFFER ANY CONTEST,
    FOR EVERY RHYME YOU GOT I SPIT 4 THAT'S BLESSED,
    SO MEDITATE ON YOUR IGNORANT 1 CORNER LIFE,
    'CAUSE I BE WAITIN' FOR ALLA Y'ALL TO END THE STRIFE.

    OUT.


    The Animagess send us another song inspired from Time Cube. Animagess says : "[I] was wondering if you'd be interested in a parody of "Time Warp" (Rocky Horror) set to Gene Ray's infamously dubious masterpiece. It is called, of course, "Let's Do the Time Cube Again".
    It was my friend's idea and we did it for a lark, but on the off-chance that you'd find it amusing I've sent it to you."

    Thank you Animagess.

    Let's Do the Time Cube Again
    by Animagess

    I hate foreigners
    Time is cornered
    Nature is harmonic

    Now listen closely
    But not to those Word-Slaves
    I'm not schizophrenic

    I discovered the time cube
    Debating those moments when
    The stupid would call me
    'Paranoid' they'd be saying

    Let's do the time cube again
    Let's do the time cube again

    The first corner's the baby
    Then the next is the child
    When you die, you're adult
    You metamorph in style

    But it's the Greenwich clock
    That really drives you insane
    Let's do the time cube again
    Let's do the time cube again

    You tried to forbid it, educated stupid
    So you don't get it, no not at all
    A four-cornered dimension, with quadratic intention
    The wisest human, Gene knows all

    Academia's evil
    First-corner upheaval
    A mother's as old as her baby
    A four-day rotation
    In this cubic creation

    Let's do the time cube again
    Let's do the time cube again

    Well I was walking down the street when a guy with a hat
    And an MIT shirt gave me a pamphelet
    It shook-a me up, it changed my whole worldview
    Now I believe his square-eyed theory too
    Axis and singularities
    Time is cubic, and always will be

    Let's do the time cube again
    Let's do the time cube again

    The first corner's the baby
    Then the next is the child
    When you die, you're adult
    You metamorph in style

    But it's the Greenwich clock
    That really drives you insane
    Let's do the time cube again
    Let's do the time cube again

    Let's do the time cube again
    Let's do the time cube again



    Cubic Awareness Online

    Cubic Awareness Online is by far the most clever parody of Time Cube. "Cubicprophecies" has done a great deal of work to understand Gene Ray's ramblings and translate them in credible geometric terms. I must commend him highly for his web site.

    UPDATE: It turns out he's actually serious. I hardly know what to say. This site deserves its own page.


    Gene Ray and Time Cube Wikipedia entries

    The author of Cubic Awareness Online also contributed to these two extensive encyclopedia articles on Gene Ray, and especially on the theory of Time Cube.


    Time Cube Central

    Time Cube Central is an archive of Gene Ray's interviews to e-Yadda and the Dan and Scott Show. Gene is unperturbable and answers all questions. He also always begins every interview with the statement that Time Cube is "the greatest social and scientific discovery of humanity. There is nothing you can't know through it". The reaction of the e-Yadda host at the end of the first interview is particularily funny, although Gene's ramblings are always entertaining.


    Cubic Awareness - Time Cube

    Currently the only message board dedicated to the study and discussion of Time Cube. Come laugh at some of the educated stupid and evil !


    Satan's Time Cube

    "Do YOU believe in TIME CUBES? Have the idolaterous minions of SATAN duped you into thinking that these cubes would give you "magical" powers?"


    NINTENDO'S PORTABLE SIMULTANEOUS 4-PLAYER GAME CUBE
    NATURE'S HARMONIC SIMULTANEOUS 4-FLAVOR THYME CUBE
    Time Cube : Communications From Elsewhere

    Game Cube and Thyme Cube is one of those inevitable parodies of Ray's style. The Time Cube : Communications From Elsewhere page permits you to generate new Ray quotes randomly, copying his rambling style.


    Professor J.T. Tuberhonker tried to engage Gene Ray in a discussion of his "ideas".

    "This whole Time Cube theory is quite plausible. However, I'm confused about one aspect: A cube has six faces, not four. Are we considering only the sides of the cube (of which there are four)? You've also mentioned corners, but there are eight of those on a cube. Do we only look at the top four or the bottom four? I just don't see where you get the number four. Please explain. "

    To which Ray replied :
    Earth rotates inside a Time Cube - kinda like your Cubical bedroom - which has 4 vertical corners and 4 vertical walls in between a horizontal top and bottom. Time is not vertical, but a horizontal rotation around the 4 quadrant corners. Each quadrant corner of Earth is a beginning and ending of its own separate 24 hour day rotation.

    It is impossible for a Cube to have 6 sides - for that would dictate the form of a sextet - just as 8 sides would dictate it to be an octet. The dictionary depicts sides as vertical planes in between horizontal top and bottoms. 6 sides negates a Cube's top and bottom, while changing to a sextet. A Cube has 4 vertical corners and 4 vertical side walls in between a horizontal top (ceiling) and bottom (floor).

    "Thanks for your help understanding the four sides of a cube. I don't see how I couldn't get it earlier now. But with that in place, I've now fully seen how this is possible, and it's incredible!

    However, I'm having some problems with my math professor, who I think has stumbled upon the Time Cube but for some reason is keeping his mouth shut. I've already caught him in a contradiction. He knows about Time Cube but refuses to admit it. How can I get him to stop lying? Every second I waste in his class only makes my frustration grow."

    Unfortunately, no reply was forthcoming. We can only conclude that Mr. Ray was engrossed in another incredible discovery that he was typing IN BIG LETTERS on timecube.com.


    We also got a nice email from Peter Agnew on his peculiar use of english.

    "Hi Alleee

    Really enjoy reading your site. I have a fascinating fact about Gene Ray's site (well, perhaps not really). As of 19 November 2003, Gene uses the word "stupid" on his webpage 100 times and the word "evil" some 148 times. He utilises virtually no other form of insult. (Why did I do this? It was a slow day at work and I couldn't think of anything better to do.)

    What does this mean? Well, not a hell of a lot I suppose aside from the fact that Gene could probably use a good Thesaurus as well as several editors to make sense out of his semi-literate grunts.

    Keep on showcasing those lunatics! ;-)

    Cheers

    Peter"

    June 2007 update!

    I have been neglecting to post the fan mail, I'm afraid. But better late than never!

    Last year we got an email from James, who knows Gene Ray personally: he's even met him, as they live in the same town! Here is what James sent us:

    I was looking through a forum and happened upon Gene Ray's TimeCube site. I was so appauled! I had know idea that was what was going through the old man's head. I thought, surely this can't be the same guy, so I did a search and found your feature site which shows a picture of Mr. Ray. Mr. Ray has lived in my town for most of his life and is well known around here. I only met him a couple of years back, but I've never heard him mention any of this crazy B.S. I noticed he started hanging out with some young guys a couple of years ago. Once I asked him about his theories, he began trying to explain them to me. Seeing the look of astonishment on my face, he realized I was too dumbstruck to be listening to him and he quit speaking to me.

    The guy is nuts. I went back and tried to rationalize his claims, and where that didn't go anywhere, I started trying to explain the "acedemia" away and apparently I'm "evil and stupid" and he has nothing further to say to a "damned lying bastard educated stupid ass". He hasn't spoken to me since.

    Frankly, I'm embarrassed to say I live in Cumming... This just makes it 100 times worse. Seeing as how Crank is such a problem up here, I wouldn't doubt if that's where is schitzophrenia and paranoia are coming from, maybe even is strange claims. I've seen the drugs affect on my sister and I must say, it's definitely a cause for mental problems.

    If you decide to post this email, please don't use my last name, as he was once a good friend of the family and I wouldn't want him to know I'm writing this. I'll let him die in peace I guess. I haven't seen him in a long time. He must be almost 80 by now.

    Sincerely,

    -James
    Cumming, GA

    That is so great! I honestly have no idea about Gene's past and where his worldview comes from, but according to his Wikipedia entry, he has been brewing these ideas for a very long time, although at first he was more fixated on spheres. Who knows? Maybe today we would have Time Sphere instead of Time Cube. I would never, ever pretend to know how Gene's mind works, folks...

    Thank you very much James for your email!


    October 2008 update

    There is an actual hand-cranked flashlight call the eternaLight GeneRay X1. I'm not sure why it's called the GeneRay, but it looks pretty cool. Right now it's out of stock, however.




    review written by Franc, 07/2002, last updated 01/2008.

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