24 February 1996
RI-491i 'Church-staff: "I had nothing against KOOS!"'
from Ambassador for Mankind (Ron's Inspector)
Message # RI-491i for Internet
This is a confessional on a former Guardian Office staff
('Office of Special Affairs' and
'Religious Technology Center'
have now taken the position of the Guardian Office).
Confessional on a typical Guardian Office staffmember-Scientologist
on 23 Feb 1996 16:59 GMT,
ordered by Ambassador for Mankind.
(Reported per HCOPL 'Confessionals - Ethics Reports Required')
[Auditor:] What have you withheld from Koos? F
[Former Guardian Office staff:]
"I admired Koos's radiance and brightness,
lightness and spaciness. LFBD's
And I wanted to have part of this radiance.
So that it seemed that also I was radiant.
It was undifferentiated by me who did what.
"I felt radiant in Koos's vicinity.
But I didn't create it.
It was Koos who created
the outflow of lively 'theta' energy, and
I was in it, and
I wanted to stay in it. LFBD
"I came to join Scientology
because there was all this 'Hi!' and 'Great!' and
enthusiasm and admiration and lots of motion.
"I liked that and wanted to have that. LFBD
"Also THIS lively energy I did not create myself,
but I used it to FEEL myself more energetic and lively,
and great, as I was 'part of a great movement'.
"I started to reject Koos
when he wanted me to look at
that it wasn't all 'Hi!' and 'Great!'.
"I wanted to get rid of Koos again,
when he wanted me to have another look
at friends I had.
I enjoyed the acceptance I got from them. LFBD
"Koos challenged this 'feeling good with them'.
"Good, I didn't look at THEM, they didn't look at ME!
So we were 'all big friends'. LFBD
"Koos put this in question
that we were 'all big friends'.
"Koos pushed hard at our 'mutual out-ruds' [agreements to not look]
('mutual out-ruds', that's what it WAS).
"And he didn't shed his radiance over me anymore. LFBD
"I had no more reason to stay with him.
I wanted to FEEL 'great'.
I wasn't feeling 'great' with him anymore. LF
"I became very beasty trying to get rid of him. LF LFBD
"I refused to duplicate Koos.
I refused to get his viewpoint."
"Koos wanted me to look at the ethics of
Jane Kember [the suppressive Guardian World Wide]. LFBD
([Note by Auditor:] My ears pop open, [mental] space widens,
[which indicates release of mental charge].
I yawn very much.)
"I didn't want that [Koos makes me look]. LFBD's
"Koos wanted me to look at the ethics of
Mo Budlong [the most anti-social Deputy Guardian World Wide
for Intelligence and Internal Security]. LFBD
I didn't want that.
"Koos wanted me to look at the ethics of Geoff Shervell
[another suppressive in the Guardian Office World Wide],
I didn't want that.
"Koos wanted me to look at the ethics of Marina Boulding [same].
I didn't want that.
"Koos wanted me to look at the ethics of a lot more people. LFBD
I didn't WANT that.
I wanted to 'stay in agreement' with them. F
"Specially I wanted to 'stay in agreement' with Jane Kember. F
"'My survival, my stay in the group depended on Jane Kember'
- it was not so, but this was my consideration.
"I wanted to have a license to survive from Jane Kember.
"I would say now:
my survival did NOT depend on Jane Kember, but
my stay in the group at that time depended on Jane Kember.
"to that extent my survival depended on Jane Kember: LFBD
You could be kicked out. LF
You could get crazy 'Ethics Conditions'
[punishments with a pretense of survival value,
as any 'survival' or 'ethics' ordered by Suppressives
is of course only anti-survival and degrading.
(Note by Koos)]. LF
"I didn't want that. LFBD
"There was an actual possibility of being
kicked out for opposing Jane Kember,
that wasn't just a fancy of mine.
"She was the Guardian World Wide LFBD's
for a lifetime (at least how it was then) LFBD
and she was using her powers.
"It was for me like Koos was asking me to commit suicide. LFBD
I 'knew', I was convinced, that
I WOULD BE KICKED OUT
IF I LOOKED AT ANY OF THE GUARDIAN OFFICE'S DOINGS.
"I didn't want that. LFBD
"Then I didn't want Koos anymore. LFBD's
"I had a justification to myself:
'He wasn't giving me anymore that for what I wanted Koos:
he wasn't giving me anymore his radiance.
He wasn't giving me anymore his agreement. LFBD
He wasn't giving me anymore his admiration. LF
I wanted to be accepted, and he
wasn't accepting me anymore.' Lf
"This all is as I saw it.
On THAT I reacted.
Not how it ACTUALLY was.
"I WANTED TO HAVE ACCEPTANCE. F's
I DIDN'T CARE FROM WHOM I GOT IT. LF's
"I wanted to have acceptance,
I wanted to have my OT-Levels.
"The balance tipped in favor of
[wanting acceptance from] Suppressive Persons.
I admit this as a very evil choice I made there.
"I was mad at Koos,
I wanted to get rid of Koos.
I wanted to stop Koos from having any influence on me.
I wanted to destroy Koos. LF
"I wanted to get him out of the group. LFBD
I wanted to get him out of Scientology,
out of East Grinstead [England].
I wanted to kick him out of spaces. F
So that I wouldn't have to confront
the evil intentions that were going on
there in the Guardian Office.
"I didn't have anything against Koos really. LFBD's LFBD's
VGI's [Very Good Indicators]
LFBD's-F/N
(relief, and resurgence of ARC [Understanding] for Koos
from this person)
F/Nind
[Note by Auditor:] It's like getting the result
of a Suppressed Person Rundown!
She was a Suppressive Person and
she now wants to stop attacking Koos and
she wants to make peace with Koos.
I experience
a willingness of her
to have Koos's communication, and
her willingness to communicate to Koos, and
her willingness to let Koos communicate.
(End of this confessional session)
Note by Koos: This shows once again
the TRUE reasons why some people
'want to get rid of Koos'.
Total session hours: 02:52 min
Highly specialized OT HCO Sec Check Auditing
at 700 US $ per hour, makes 2,007 US $ total cost.
[The abbreviations F(Fall), LF(Long Fall), LFBD(Long Fall Blow Down)
and F/N(Floating Needle) describe reactions on the E-meter,
indicating mental charge (F, LF, LFBD), and release of charge
completed (F/N).
"LFBD-F/N" = truth found out. "ind" = indicated to the person.]
Koos Nolst Trenite - Ambassador for Mankind
Copyright 1996 by Koos Nolst Trenite
reference:
RI-126i 'Koos Nolst Trenite - identity' of 29 Mar 1995
RI-480i 'Koos Nolst Trenite - Life-story' of 14 Feb 1996
RI-198i 'I Am Sanity and Survival' of 3 Jun 1995
RI-19i 'Artists and Ethics' of 10 Sep 1992
RI-18i 'LRH on Wolfgang A. Mozart' of 2 Nov 1994
RI-217i 'Choosing Sides - As Ethics' of 24 Jun 1995
RI-239i 'Koos and LRH and Ethics' of 17 July 1995
RI-348i 'Reactions about my work' of 11 Nov 1995
RI-242Ri 'Being There - Freedom to Act' of 22 July 1995)
RI-178i 'LRH on Mozart and Salieri' of 10 May 1995
RI-29Ri 'Koos, LRH, Miscavige - the Truth' of 7 Dec 1994
RI-464i 'LRH betrayed Joan of Arc (1430, France)' of 26 Jan 1996
RI-ACT-15 'Creditability - You are YOU' of 12 Nov 1994
RI-10i 'Confronting a Suppressive' of 12 Oct 1994
RI-14i 'SPs in Scientology's Safe Space' of 23 Oct 1994
RI-90i 'The Intention of a Suppressive' of 9 Oct 1994
RI-61i 'The Right to be Evil' of 16 Dec 1994
RI-80Ri 'The Eternal Critics - Exposed' of 28 Jan 1995
RI-214i 'Understanding People who "want to destroy Koos"' 19 Jun 95
RI-ACT-128 'The Monkey-List' of 20 Feb 1996
RI-261i 'Beggars WANT to produce ugliness ...' of 18 Aug 1995
RI-263i 'Two Responses to Being Helped' of 20 Aug 1995
RI-266i 'They Want To Be Dead' of 8 Sept 1995
RI-410i 'Quod licet Iovi...' of 15 Dec 1995
RI-444i 'The Practice of "SP-declares"' of 5 Jan 1996
RI-58i 'Fair Game Series - Treatment of Enemies' of 1 Jan 95
RI-487i 'Dialogue: On Enemies and Hostility' of 24 Feb 1996
RI-50RPi 'RI-xxxi series Archive - The Future' of 28 Dec 1994
Revised and Replaced on 12 November 1995
These and other RI-Bulletins can well be obtained here - or
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thetics.europa.com/outgoing/adams/RI
thetics.europa.com/outgoing/adams/RI/ACT
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