31 July 1996
RI-646i 'FACING those who are mean or dishonest'
from Ambassador for Mankind
Message # RI-646i for Internet
(see also RI-533i 'Netiquette, etc.' of 7 Apr 1996)
Definition #136 of Suppressive Person
"Somebody who finds it perfectly normal
to do all kinds of nasty or mean or dishonest things
to you or others."
Somebody finds it perfectly normal
to do all kinds of nasty or mean or dishonest things
to you and others.
But not only that:
when you point out
that you don't like him doing THAT to others,
that you don't like him doing THAT to you,
then he blows up,
and accuses YOU of "making him less alive",
or more so, he accuses YOU of "making him look bad"
and of "invalidating his good intentions".
HE (or she, if it is a "she", of course)
is constantly being mean or ugly, and irrational,
and you are supposed to swallow that all the time.
But if you say
that you don't like THAT,
that you don't like to be treated like THAT,
then he blows up
or he gets angry
or he bursts out in tears
- whatever response he thinks he will be most successful with -
and he accuses you of "NOT ACCEPTING HOW HE IS".
This is the main complaint and accusation
such a type of Suppressive Person tries to enforce:
you don't "take him as he is".
He doesn't look himself
at how HE is to you, and to others
- that's why he is a Suppressive Person -
and he wants to enforce
that HE HAS THE RIGHT
TO NOT LOOK AT HIMSELF,
to not HIMSELF have to figure out
whether he is caring, or
whether he is mean,
whether he is creating beauty, or
whether he is forcing ugliness onto you,
whether he is telling you truth, or
whether he is telling you lies,
whether he is open to you, or
whether he is hiding things from you.
He wants to have the right
to NOT examine
whether he is doing one, or the other.
He has the right to
"Just do as he feels like doing!"
When he feels like being ugly and mean and lying and dishonest,
well, then he just feels like doing that.
That's "being himself", he says,
and you must accept that as "being himself".
Here we have, by the way,
the fantastic mess which psychology puts people into,
or keeps people in, or pushes people into.
And this is the basis, actually,
of all the jokes about psychologists and psychiatrists.
They get these patients,
and these patients are of two types,
either the type of Suppressive Person described above
- who has trouble because
he wants "everybody to accept him 'as he is'",
and not everybody does that -
or
it is a patient sent there BY, or because of, such a Suppressive Person
because that patient revolts against
"accepting the Suppressive Person 'as he is'".
The first type, the Suppressive Person,
wants of the psychiatrist or psychologist
acknowledgment and confirmation
how RIGHT it is
to do and be as one pleases,
no matter how ugly and dishonest one may be,
and he wants that the psychiatrist or psychologist
"helps" him
to feel comfortable with that, and
"helps" him
to feel free to exercise his "right"
without feeling that he has to restrain himself.
The other patient is sent there, or goes there,
in order to be more able
to "live with" a person, a Suppressive Person,
who demands
that he must accept all ugliness and meanness
which he revolts against, and
which he revolts against having forced on himself as normal, and
which he revolts against having
to see as
his OWN "inability",
his OWN "unwillingness" to accept being spiritually raped,
for instance
by a suppressive parent or by a suppressive teacher
or by a suppressive friend or partner, and
[ugliness and meanness]
which he revolts against
being coaxed, or forced, to accept
- no matter how mean or ugly or dishonest it is -
coming from this parent or teacher or friend or partner.
Now I personally DON'T believe
that someone has the RIGHT
to be
as dishonest, and
as ugly and
as mean
as he feels like being
to me or others,
and I think you will agree with that,
and I think you EVEN will agree to that
if you are yourself the type of Suppressive Person
whom this bulletin is about.
Because, oh boy, a Suppressive Person of this type
does NOT AT ALL GRANT OTHERS the right
to be to him as dishonest and ugly and mean
as they want to be!
If you ask a Suppressive Person
whether he likes others doing these very things to him,
he definitely does NOT like so,
even if he pretends that others
'of course have the same rights as he does himself'.
The more clever Suppressive Persons
- and also the most damaging ones -
get themselves into a position or job or group
where they have a very "valid and accepted reason or goal"
for being dishonest,
for being ugly and mean, and
for being so
as much as they please and feel like.
And that "valid reason"
of course makes it totally accepted by others
that he is ALLOWED to be
as mean,
as ugly and
as dishonest
as he feels like being.
"We are (saving the world, saving Mankind, saving Nature,
saving our religion, saving our race,
opposing oppression, fighting criminality,
freeing our country, having to secure our survival,
having to make money, etc., etc., etc.,)
therefore we are entitled to be
as mean, as ugly and as dishonest as we want to be
and everybody will have to see
that this is just done out of a good intention."
[I guess you can imagine some people,
and institutions, and terror-groups like that.]
But being mean and ugly
is NEVER, NEVER, NEVER done out of a good intention,
and if being dishonest
is - very sporadically and very exceptionally -
done out of a good intention,
then it is always followed up at the first opportunity
by completely clearing up the dishonesty and
by informing the person about the full truth.
As you see,
there is already room left
for allowing evil, and
for covering it up
as "being in the best interest of the person", and
for the "first opportunity" to clear up the truth
never coming.
Suppressive Persons get into such positions,
and they use such positions.
Being a parent or teacher is a typical position
where one can enforce
being as dishonest or as ugly or as mean
or irrational and irresponsible as one feels like being,
and sane children of course revolt against that.
And at an age between 10 and 16, maybe much earlier, maybe later,
such children become "hard to manage".
But psychologists call it 'puberty',
(which is actually the condition of
being forced to be irresponsible and
being forced to be irrational, and
being forced to be dishonest,
which I think is a very ugly and mean thing to do to any child)
[psychologists call it 'puberty']
because they don't like to face - let alone remedy -
irresponsibility, ugliness and meanness and dishonesty,
they just give it a learned name, and that "solves" it.
And they let themselves be paid for the service of
leaving all as it is, but having it "explained".
"Your child is in puberty
- that will resolve when he moves out of the parental home.
That makes 500 Dollars, please."
Or if the child itself is such a type of Suppressive Person
AND the parents ALLOW the child
to be as ugly, as mean and as dishonest as it pleases,
then of course the parents are getting a very hard time.
Or they close their eyes,
and one day they wake up and cry a lot of tears,
because they realize
that all their love and care and financial efforts
have only been used to raise and nurture
a criminal personality
who enforced on them his (or her) "right"
to be as mean and
to be as ugly and
to be as dishonest
as he felt like being,
whenever he felt like being so.
A very big difficulty
in facing and solving these matters, and
the very deadening effects
this type of Suppressive Person can have on one,
is
that one gradually, most GRADUALLY,
gets into these kind of relationships.
Step by step one is made to agree, or forced to agree,
with undesirable things.
Because the Suppressive Person of this type
is only suppressive when he feels like it,
he can be quite decent and pleasant and honest
in situations where little responsibility is involved,
or, he can even be very helpful
in a situation of extreme stress and danger,
simply because he felt like being a decent person then.
And he will also use his heroic deeds
- long thereafter and continuously -
in order to "prove" to you
that he is NOT mean or ugly or dishonest
and
that he certainly is NOT intentionally doing so.
And he will use his sporadic heroic deeds to tell you
that it is very mean and ugly and dishonest
of YOU
to even think bad of him now,
because
"Don't you know anymore that he once saved your life?".
Or, a parent accuses the child of being very ungrateful
for 'all the hardships the parent went through to raise the child'.
As if the parent did not enjoy the company
and laughter and joy the child gave in return!
What I want to say, is,
that one often has grown into such a relationship,
and has gradually decided to accept
- or has been gradually forced to accept -
all kinds of dishonesties or ugliness or meanness
that one normally would NOT accept.
So one tends to get blind to these situations
that one is, oneself, caught up in.
So it might be very beneficial
to ask somebody else's observation
about a person or a relationship that one is involved it.
That is, one might ask someone to look and voice his opinion,
someone who hopefully
has nothing (no authority or money) to lose or gain
by looking and voicing his opinion.
(Now this type of Suppressive Person
is himself great in getting your opinion on someone:
he tells you, 'without any prejudice'
how irresponsible and mean and cold his partner is,
and then he asks you
- without giving you any opportunity to look for yourself
at his so extensively described partner -
what you think of such a partner.)
I think I have already made clear to you
that you DON'T take a "professional" for it,
that you don't consult a psychologist or psychiatrist,
because exactly THEY are the WORST
in having a viewpoint on this VERY matter,
as I described above in the example of 'puberty'.
The best people to ask
are of course those
who HAVE happy, alive, and
ACTIVE, RESPONSIBLE relationships
with each other,
with their children or parents, or
with their teachers or pupils.
The worst people to go to
are psychologists and psychiatrists and the like,
because they know a tremendous amount of words,
but one word they DON'T know and they DON'T WANT TO KNOW,
and that is
RESPONSIBILITY
FOR ONE'S OWN ACTIONS AND
FOR THE ACTIONS OF OTHERS.
I don't know at the moment why that is so,
but the highest they seem to get is:
"Things are as they are and people are as they are,
and the art of living is
to 'live with it' or 'to get around it somehow'."
And they earn their money
with inventing difficult names for that.
By that, they push everybody into misery, actually,
and they actually give everybody an excuse
to be as irresponsible as they please.
FACING and HANDLING suppression
and FACING and HANDLING Suppressive Persons of the type of
somebody who finds it "perfectly normal" to do
all kinds of nasty or mean or dishonest things to you or others,
IS the way to go.
And I think THAT is a
much more pleasant and worthwhile way to go than
to 'respect someone's right to be mean or ugly or dishonest'.
Koos Nolst Trenite - Ambassador for Mankind
Copyright 1996 by Koos Nolst Trenite
references:
RI-58Ri 'Fair Game Series - Treatment of Enemies' of 1 Jan 95
RI-156Ri 'Anti-Constitutional Church of Scientology' 24 Apr 95
RI-200i 'Fair Game Law - Disconnection' of 4 June 1995
RI-444i 'The Practice of "SP-declares"' of 5 Jan 1996
RI-487i 'Dialogue: On Enemies and Hostility' of 20 Feb 1996
RI-535i '"An Enemy of my Enemy is my Friend" = INSANE' 10 Apr 96
RI-10i 'Confronting a Suppressive' of 12 Oct 1994
RI-14i 'SPs in Scientology's Safe Space' of 23 Oct 1994
RI-24i 'Definition of 'PTS' - IMPORTANT' of 19 Nov 1994
RI-53i 'Past Life Criminals and Scn Ethics' of 29 July 1994
RI-514i 'Confessionals and Blackmail - VERY IMPORTANT' 16 Mar 96
RI-269i 'How to Handle Irresponsible People. (GOLD!)' 26 Sept 95
RI-553i 'Decency and Honesty - Condition of Hiding' of 7 May 96
RI-19i 'Artists and Ethics' of 10 Sept 1992
RI-592i 'How To Look At People' of 5 June 1996
RI-629i 'Definition of "Care"' of 12 July 1996
RI-631i 'Definition of "Woman"' of 12 July 1996
RI-269i 'How to Handle Irresponsible People' of 26 Sept 1995
RI-537i 'The Right to Demand Awareness' of 15 Apr 1996
RI-602i 'Definition of Power' of 20 June 1996
RI-242Ri 'Being There - Freedom to Act' of 22 July 1995
RI-235i 'Handling people with Understanding' of 14 July 1995
RI-617i 'Controlling Evil Intentions, how' of 28 June 1996
RI-541i 'Correct and Joyful Confessional Procedure - I' 20 Apr 96
RI-542i 'Correct and Joyful Confessional Procedure - II' 2 May 96
RI-545i 'Correct and Joyful Confessional Procedure - III' 20 May 96
RI-50RQi 'RI-xxxi series Archive - Content and Use' 28 Dec 94
Revised and Replaced on 6 March 1996
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