7 September 1996


       RI-689i  'Auditing a psychotic telepathically'


from Ambassador for Mankind


Message # RI-689i for Internet




As you may have guessed,
 the question below has been used by me
  for various telepathic confessionals,
    also in RI-9Ri 'Confessional on David Miscavige' of 1 Oct 94.



This is a telepathic confessional.

Some of the thoughts received as answers
 may be just below the level of awareness
   of the person having these thoughts.
Nevertheless,
 these are valid and true thoughts,
  and are valid answers to the confessional question.


The confessional question which is used here
 - and which was developed by me -
  is based on a true understanding of man:

   Some people
    are so much 'not themselves',
    and have considered so strongly
     that
      what they PRETEND to be 'self',
      is ACTUAL 'self',
   that
    they feel themselves destroyed
     if this PRETENDED SELF is detected and exposed.

   Of course,
    it only helps a person
     to become less psychotic and less criminal,
      if the PRETENSE is exposed.

   'PRETENSE' is the key
     to open up the case of any psychotic, towards sanity.



While the data revealed
 might not be very interesting to you (it was to me, of course),
  the mechanism of
   why a psychotic considers
    himself destroyed when found out,
  is clearly shown.




Confessional-session on "Ma" (Koos's mother),
 on 5 Sept 1996, 10:12 GMT,
 ordered by Ambassador for Mankind.


[Auditor:] WHAT, IF FOUND OUT ABOUT YOU,
            WOULD DESTROY YOU?  F LFBD LFBD LFBD

[Ma:] "If my PRETENSE would not be accepted any more:
 My PRETENSE of
  being interested in my family,
  being interested in Pa,
  being interested in my children,
 my PRETENSE of
  'being interested in
   and full of love
    for Pa and the children'.  LFBD LFBD

"My whole life I have spent
  to be seen
   as a good mother, and
   as a good wife to Pa,  LFBD
 and,
  if it would be found out
   that I rather would have
    withdrawn into my own life, alone,
 [if that would be found out]
   NOTHING WOULD BE LEFT OF ME.

    [You see that she is in total confusion
      about who she actually is.
     She has - long since - stopped being herself.
     She "is" only the false image and pretense
      that she has forced others and herself
       to accept as being 'herself'.  (Note by Koos)]

"[If that would be found out]
  nothing would be left of the image
   that I created about myself:
     'the caring mother,
       proud of a big family',
     'keeping everything neat and orderly -  LFBD LFBD LFBD LFBD
       the house,
       the garden,
       the family meetings',
     'marrying the children well'.

"I would be destroyed.

"Because my image of myself
  that is accepted
   by Pa, and by the children - except by Koos -
     would be destroyed."  LFBD



[Auditor:] What, if found out about you,
            would destroy you?  LFBD

[Ma:] "If it would be known that
 I admired aunt Mariet,
  that she managed to be independent and her own master.

     [Aunt Mariet
       is completely irresponsible
        for all life, except for her own body, and
       is psychotic, but 'well adjusted'.
      She is the proverbial 'unattached female'
        and 'old virgin', in one.  (Note by Koos)]

"And that I sometimes
  rather would have liked to be in her place,
  rather than get all the demands
   of looking after a big family.  LFBD

"I have never told anyone about that.

"In fact,
  I wanted to give her [aunt Mariet] the impression
   that I was much more responsible for life
    than she was."



[Auditor:] What, if found out about you,
            would destroy you?

[Ma:]
"I agreed
  that (...) had the right to run away from Koos.
 I agreed
  that (...) had the right to withdraw from Koos.

"I didn't agree so very much with
  Jutta running away from Koos all the time,  LFBD
    (see RI-682i 'LRH's Serenity group, More - Part C' of 27 Aug 96)
 BECAUSE
  I was tired
   of hearing from Koos about it and
   of being asked to see Koos as part of the family
    and [therefore have to] think of how to help Koos.

"I wished that Jutta would have cared for Koos,
  so that I could take my attention
   off family troubles,  LFBD
   and off care for the family.  LFBD


"I justified (...)'s running away from Koos.
 I defended MYSELF by it.  LFBD
 I justified my OWN withdrawing from my marriage with Pa by it.  LFBD

"It would destroy me
  if it would be known by everyone in the family,
   that I MYSELF
     wanted to run away from Pa and from my family,  LFBD LFBD
  [that I MYSELF]
     wanted to destroy Pa, and
    [wanted to destroy] my family-life with him.

"If this would be known and dug out again in the open,
  I would be destroyed.
    (see RI-688i 'Handling parents - a psychotic mother' 7 Sept 96)

"I have created an image of myself,
  where this doesn't fit in.  LFBD

"Over all the years,
  I HAVE ENFORCED
   on Pa,
   on Koos,
    to NOT LOOK AT IT,
    to NOT TALK ABOUT IT,
    to NOT TELL ANYONE ELSE.

"After all,  LFBD
  I DIDN'T run away,
  I stayed with Pa,  LFBD LFBD
    he kept me from going away.  LFBD
  I stayed.
  I came to my senses.

"And now I am old and 'deserve some rest.'  LFBD

"My life  LFBD
  lies behind me.
 It would destroy me
  to put this out in the open.  LFBD LFBD

"But since this time,
  since Koos was [at age of about 14]
   witness of my craziness,  LFBD
    I try to make him look away from it,  LFBD and
    I wanted to get him out of my life near me.

"I started to reject him and reject him,
  and started to destroy HIS life.  LFBD's LFBD's

([emotional] charge blows [goes away] from Ma)  LFBDBD


"And I didn't want to meet Koos,
  so that Koos doesn't look at me."


(see also the preceding
   RI-688i 'Handling parents - a psychotic mother' of 7 Sept 96)


- space wider -

 F/Nind
                                   Total session time: 01:23 min

                    Highly specialized OT HCO Sec Check Auditing
                 at 700 US $ per hour, makes 2,485 $ total cost.


(The data revealed in HCO Security Checks are not confidential.
 They are used to detect hidden crimes, and the data is used by
 the group to stop the crimes and to apply group-justice to the
 criminal, based on what he ACTUALLY did, rather than on what
 others believe or are led to believe he did.
 The purpose is to have real justice both for the criminal and
 for the groupmembers who have been affected by his crimes.)

[The abbreviations F(Fall) LF(Long Fall), LFBD(Long Fall Blow Down)
 and F/N(Floating Needle) describe reactions on the E-meter,
 indicating mental charge (F, LF, LFBD), and release of charge
 completed (F/N).
 "LFBD-F/N" = truth found out. "ind" = indicated to the person.
 See RI-610i 'Understanding the E-meter, correctly' of 26 June 96
     RI-648i 'Simplicity of E-meter use, by UNDERSTANDING it' 1 Aug 96]

Koos Nolst Trenite - Ambassador for Mankind

Copyright 1996 by Koos Nolst Trenite


 references:
  RI-688i  'Handling parents - a psychotic mother' of 7 Sept 96

  RI-629i  'Definition of "Care"' of 12 July 1996
  RI-631i  'Definition of "Woman"' of 12 July 1996
  RI-19i   'Artists and Ethics' of 10 Sept 1992
  RI-592i  'How To Look At People' of 5 June 1996

  RI-269i  'How to Handle Irresponsible People' of 26 Sept 1995
  RI-537i  'The Right to Demand Awareness' of 15 Apr 1996
  RI-242Ri 'Being There - Freedom to Act' of 22 July 1995

  RI-449i  'A Rule For Freedom' of 14 Jan 1996
  RI-262i  'Creating despite Suppressive Persons' of 20 Aug 1995

  RI-274i  'Setting Own Awareness-Level - Use of Vital Data' of 8 Oct 95
  RI-235i  'Handling people with Understanding' of 14 July 1995


  RI-514i  'Confessionals and Blackmail - VERY IMPORTANT' of 16 Mar 96
  RI-553i  'Decency and Honesty - Condition of Hiding' of 7 May 96
  RI-617i  'Controlling Evil Intentions, how' of 28 June 1996

  RI-58Ri  'Fair Game Series - Treatment of Enemies' of 1 Jan 95
  RI-90i   'The Intention of a Suppressive' of 9 Oct 1993


  RI-126Ri 'Koos Nolst Trenite - identity' of 29 Mar 1995
  RI-480i  'Koos Nolst Trenite - Life-story' of 14 Feb 1996

  RI-217i  'Choosing Sides - As Ethics' of 24 June 1995


  RI-50RQi 'RI-xxxi series Archive - Content and Use' of 28 Dec 94
               Revised and Replaced on 6 March 1996

These and other RI-Bulletins can well be obtained here - or

    (with WWW-browser) at
       ftp://thetics.europa.com/outgoing/adams/RI
    (with ftp) at
       thetics.europa.com/outgoing/adams/RI