23 August 1997
issued 4 November 1997
RI-955i 'Jutta: DENYING COMMUNICATION about sorrow, fear, pain or evil'
from Ambassador for Mankind
Message # RI-955i for Internet
(Also appearing in the RDS-series,
the "Resolving Domination Series".)
'Now if someone has uncontrollable, destructive impulses,
his or her close family - and especially his or her partner -
should better know about it!'
'Ambassador for Mankind'
Jutta Nolst Trenite,
on 22 August 1997, 19:18 GMT
[Jutta:]
"I have a strange computation that
'I shouldn't talk to Koos "when I am not OK"
[when I am in bad mental shape]'."
[Note by Koos:
Meaning, to hide from Koos
when she is in the grip of
her own or of others' destructive compulsions,
INSTEAD of telling Koos about her condition
so that Koos knows that he cannot count on her now,
and so that Koos can help her to overcome her condition.]
[Jutta:]
"My evil purpose
for hiding destructive compulsions from Koos,
[for not communicating to Koos], is:
'TO SUFFER MY OWN EVIL'."
[Note by Koos:
Jutta's main problem is
to return or answer
evil, anybody's evil - or even anybody's upset -
with her own evil, with her own upset.
Jutta even responds to her perception of her OWN evil,
with being evil TO HERSELF.
(see RI-908i 'The Ostrich-factor - on facing evil or criminality'
http://AmbassadorForMankind.org/ri-bulletins/ri-908i.htm)]
Solo-Confessional(*) of Jutta Nolst Trenite,
on 23 August 1997, 08:17 GMT,
ordered by Ambassador for Mankind.
[Solo-Auditor(**):] How would
"I do not want to be in communication with Koos"
make you right?
[Jutta:]
"This lifetime, I refused to be in communication with many people.
"In 1788, I finished WANTING to be in communication with people.
(see RI-941i 'Benjamin Franklin's fatal decision of 1788' of 24 Oct 1997
http://AmbassadorForMankind.org/ri-bulletins/ri-941i.htm)
"Since then, I haven't WANTED to be
in [real, sincere, constructive] communication with anybody." LF's(***)
[Solo-Auditor:] I repeat the question:
How would "I do not want to be in communication with Koos"
MAKE YOU RIGHT?
[Jutta:]
"In 1977 [after I got together with Koos]
I did not want to be in communication with Koos about
what I [before I met Koos] did
on my Second [sex and family] Dynamic and
on the Second Dynamic of others
[destroying her previous marriage, and that of others,
abortions, and destructive sexual relationships].
"I didn't want to communicate to Koos LFBD
that I WANTED to be other-determined
[wanted to be told by others whether I am good or evil],
as a solution to the PROBLEM I created: LFBD
'I WANT to be self-determined'
versus
'I SHOULDN'T be self-determined', and with that
'I can't tell people straightforwardly what I want'." LFBD
[Note by Koos:
When one cannot see and cannot control one's evil impulses,
one may think that one is 'self-determined',
when one actually is destructive to life (and thereby to self).
To protect oneself against that,
one wants others to determine for oneself what is good and bad,
one wants to be 'other-determined'.
But there is a lot of hate
for the person chosen as a 'stable datum'
- when he is good,
then hating him for making one face one's evil
that one decided not to see as such,
- and when he is evil,
then hating him for making one more evil
than one would be if alone.
The evil impulses themselves
make one want to choose an evil person to be "judged" by.
The desire to be sane
makes one chose a sane person to be guided by -
while still hating to have
one's evil impulses seen as such by him.]
[Solo-Auditor:] I repeat the question:
How would "I do not want to be in communication with Koos"
make you right?
[Jutta:]
"It would make me right
for all the crazy solutions I had to life LFBD
[fixed ideas with which to "handle" oneself, others and life,
WITHOUT having to look at and face the forces of life (Note by Koos)]
- which I wanted to hide from Koos,
when I met Koos [in 1977].
"Also, I computed (in 1977) that I
wouldn't HAVE to communicate to Koos about it
[wouldn't HAVE to let him know how destructive I have been and can be]
'because Auditing [therapy] would handle
the crazy computations of mine, sooner or later,
and they wouldn't [shouldn't] be a subject of communication".
[Note by Koos:
Now if someone has uncontrollable, destructive impulses,
his or her close family - and especially his or her partner -
should better know about it!]
[Jutta:]
"I didn't want to be right about
[talk about and explain how right it felt at times]
using the crazy solutions that I had about life.
"I did not want to have them as a subject of discussion. LF's LF
I wanted to hide them, and
I did [hide them BECAUSE I did] not WANT them evaluated
as insane, evil or psychotic.
"It would make Koos wrong
for wanting to help me, and
for calling things by their name
- but HE did that in order to help me, and
NOT in order to make me wrong." F's
[Solo-Auditor:] How would "I do not want to be in communication with Koos"
make others wrong?
[Jutta:]
"It makes Koos wrong
for him [naturally] wanting to be in communication with me.
"But I pervert MY 'I do not want to be in communication with Koos' LF's
into 'Koos does not want to communicate to ME', LFBDBDBD
and 'Koos keeps ME out of his life'. LFBD
[Note by Koos:
She does not face (admit to herself)
that SHE is doing the no-communicating,
so she says I or others
don't want to listen,
don't know by telepathy or otherwise
all her destructive compulsions
without ever discussing them and
without them ever being mentioned by her.]
[Jutta:]
"That is a make-wrong.
Koos wants me to be, not only interested in his life
(which does not only consist of his own life),
but also
in the life of our family [Second Dynamic],
in our group [Third Dynamic],
in Mankind [Fourth Dynamic])." F's LFBD
[Solo-Auditor:] How would "I do not want to be in communication with Koos"
make you right?
[Jutta:]
"'Koos doesn't want me to be interested' is a lie. LFBDBD
"'When I [proclaim that I] am interested
[but only want to be SEEN by Koos or others
as being interested in his activity],
Koos [observes me correctly and] says:
"It's only social [pretended interest] and only
done in order to make a good impression on me and on others",
and he says
that he doesn't really want to hear all that nonsense
that I say out of such pretended "interest".'
"'So, I then concentrate on
creating Koos [only] in my OWN [thought] universe.' LFBDBD
[In which HER imaginary reality is more real
than the actual reality of the universe with others.
So in her OWN universe,
she is very caring and interested in Koos
- without ever looking at what Koos' ACTUAL
problems or achievements or interests are.
In her OWN universe,
she believes to HAVE communicated to Koos,
while there was neither verbal nor telepathic communication
to Koos, at all.
This is interesting to know, for instance when Jutta says
she made a sales-appointment at the other side of the country
- and we drive there, and when we arrive
there appears to be no sales-appointment at all!
(Note by Koos)]
(grief charge of Jutta in session)
[Jutta:]
"Which is not being in communication with Koos
in the physical universe
[and also not telepathically (Note by Koos)]."
[Solo-Auditor:] How would "I do not want to be in communication with Koos"
make you right?
[Jutta:]
"For refusing to be in communication with Koos
IN THE PHYSICAL UNIVERSE.
"[And on top of that] I make Koos wrong
for Koos mentioning that I am accusing him of
'not having noticed
that I DID communicate to him IN MY OWN UNIVERSE'.
[Pretty much like when
one did communicate to someone in one's dream only,
and is surprised or accusative that the other did not notice it.]"
[Solo-Auditor:] How would "I do not want to be in communication with Koos"
make you right?
[Jutta:]
"'For claiming
that I AM in communication with Koos IN MY OWN UNIVERSE,
and there Koos wants me to be strong,
and I know that Koos is a great spirit
who wants aliveness
[but I REFUSE to state my knowledge openly,
in the physical universe, to him or to others].' F
"'And there, IN MY OWN UNIVERSE,
Koos also UNDERSTANDS F
why I don't talk in the physical universe LFBD
about my [intentional] smallness, or my fears or my pain.' LFBD LFBDBD
"'The KOOS OF MY UNIVERSE understands, that,
in the physical universe,
I do not want to make his life ugly by
communicating to him about
all kinds of discomforts (fears, pains, anger) of mine
- which I consider I should hide and
handle all by myself,
[without anybody ever knowing about it, because
I want to be known outwardly as a strong, sane person]
before I can sensibly communicate to Koos.' LFBD
"My grandmother has done that in response to my grandfather:
'Suffered silently'. LFBD
"I took over her Service Fac [her fixed solution] towards my grandfather:
'It shows strength not to talk about one's problems or pains'." F's
[Note by Koos:
It shows great weakness and cowardice
not to let the appropriate people
know one's weaknesses and inabilities!]
[Solo-Auditor:] How would "I do not want to be in communication with Koos"
make you right?
[Jutta:]
"For NOT communicating to Koos.
"I make Koos wrong
for him WANTING my communication. LF
"I enforce on Koos
'That he should grant me the insanity
to communicate to him "in any way that I want to",
[without any control of self].
That he should grant me
Comm Lags [slow or non-sequitur responses],
tears,
refusals to communicate,
insane statements,
make-wrongs, and
'Not Knows' [PRETENDING not to know or not to understand
that what one knows or understands VERY WELL].
"And Koos should grant me all that
WITHOUT him wanting to tell me
what is insane or sane, and WITHOUT telling me
that I don't WANT to [sincerely, constructively] communicate,
although I insist that I DO want to communicate to him'.
"I am enforcing on Koos that
'all this IS communication',
and that
'HE should help me
not to use [that it is HIS responsibility
to make me not use] the psychotic computation:
"When Koos indicates to me that
what I am saying is insane, and that
I do not want to communicate to him,
only THEN do I not want to be in communication with Koos"'."
[Solo-Auditor:] How would "I do not want to be in communication with Koos"
make others wrong?
[Jutta:]
"It would make Koos wrong
for WANTING communication from me, and with me.
"It would make Koos wrong
for WANTING to communicate TO me.
"It would make Koos wrong
for wanting to BE duplicated [understood]. F
"It would make Koos wrong
for wanting communication
that can be duplicated,
that is given with the intention to be duplicated,
and is given with the intention to create survival." F
[Solo-Auditor:] How would "I do not want to be in communication with Koos"
make others wrong?
[Jutta:]
"It would make Koos WRONG
for wanting aliveness,
for wanting survival,
for wanting life
in order to guarantee [by communicating about it]
that Koos is duplicating evil intentions,
because evil intentions hinder life."
[Solo-Auditor:] How would "I do not want to be in communication with Koos"
make others wrong?
[Jutta:]
"It would make Koos wrong
for wanting communication about LIFE. LF
"I accuse Koos that, and
as if, Koos only wants to communicate about evil.
And 'I do not want to communicate about evil.' F
"But Koos is - when he does communicate about evil - doing so
in order to achieve life
[and not
in order to accuse
or to punish
or to make less of someone,
which Suppressive Persons do]!"
LFBD-F/Nind [truth established]
'Jutta Nolst Trenite'
Total session time: 2 hrs 59 min
Motto of the 'Resolving Domination Series' (RDS):
"Koos is giving much more life than all other beings I know.
I want to be in communication with Koos."
(Jutta's own viewpoint in 1977 for joining Koos)
* (see RI-541i 'Correct and Joyful Confessional Procedure - I' 20 Apr 1996
http://AmbassadorForMankind.org/ri-bulletins/ri-541i.htm
and following parts II, III, IV)
** [Definition of 'Solo-Auditor':
Someone who writes down his own confession
in response to given questions,
with the purpose to release emotional charge and aberrations.]
*** (The abbreviations sF(small Fall), F(Fall), LF(Long Fall), LFBD(Long
Fall Blow Down) and F/N(Floating Needle) describe reactions on the
E-meter, indicating mental charge (sF, F, LF, LFBD), and release of
charge completed (F/N).
"LFBD-F/N" = truth found out. "ind" = indicated to the person.)
(see RI-610i 'Understanding the E-meter, correctly' of 26 June 1996
RI-648i 'Simplicity of E-meter use, by UNDERSTANDING it' 1 Aug 96
RI-687i 'Notes on E-meter use and Solo-Auditing' of 4 Sept 1996
http://AmbassadorForMankind.org/ri-bulletins/ri-687i.htm)
Koos Nolst Trenite - Ambassador for Mankind
Copyright 1997 by Koos Nolst Trenite
Editors: Freya Nolst Trenite and Blair Wiley
Final Editor: Koos Nolst Trenite
Supervision and publication requested by Jutta Nolst Trenite
Actions and Publication ordered by Ambassador for Mankind
Personal Web-page:
http://ArtOrg.com
Personal Web-Library:
http://AmbassadorForMankind.org/ri-bulletins/
Library Search Engine:
http://AmbassadorForMankind.org/ri-bulletins/search.html
References (available also at the Library "http://Art-Org.com/"):
- About sanity
RI-449i 'A Rule For Freedom' of 14 Jan 1996
RI-537i 'The Right to Demand Awareness' of 15 Apr 1996
RI-714i 'State of Sanity, Definition of' of 24 Oct 1996
RI-929i 'Simple Detection: "Sane or Insane?"' of 11 Sept 1997
RI-629i 'Definition of "Care"' of 12 July 1996
RI-602i 'Definition of Power' of 20 June 1996
- About communication
RI-801i '"You can never leave" - The spiritual universe' of 14 Mar 1997
RI-785i 'On Not Remedying Disagreements - "Not Talking"' of 24 Jan 1997
RI-896i 'Telepathy - Questions about getting in communication' 21 June 97
RI-771i 'Use of Telepathy' of 4 Jan 1996
- About Koos and supporting Koos' work
RI-126Ri 'Koos Nolst Trenite - identity' of 29 Mar 1995
RI-480i 'Koos Nolst Trenite - Life-story' of 14 Feb 1996
RI-828i 'Koos Nolst Trenite personally visited' of 19 Apr 1997
RI-827i 'Koos Nolst Trenite, Contributions to' of 18 Apr 1997
RI-871i 'Relaying Truth is your Duty' of 23 May 1997
RI-768i 'Past Lives - Lost Opportunities' issued 29 Dec 1996
- About Jutta
RI-954i 'Jutta: "Be with Koos - or let all be dominated by Scientology"'
RI-947i 'Jutta's Determination to Punish L. Ron Hubbard FOREVER' 18 Aug 97
RI-943i 'Jutta: "Don't face evil - Destroy Koos instead" - I' of 17 Aug 97
RI-944i 'Jutta: "Don't face evil - Destroy Koos instead" - II' of 17 Aug 97
RI-945i 'Jutta: "Don't face evil - Destroy Koos instead" - III' 17 Aug 97
RI-946i 'Jutta: "Don't face evil - Destroy Koos instead" - IV' of 18 Aug 97
RI-940i '"L. Ron Hubbard is an idiot" as Jutta's "Solution" to life' Aug 97
RI-818i 'Diana Ross: Facing Jutta, the painter' of 2 Apr 1997
RI-521i 'On Jutta's Refusal to Help Mankind effectively' 20 Mar 1996
RI-717i 'Jutta accepting the SP Miscavige over her' of 27 Oct 1996
RI-700i 'How Jutta destroys L. Ron Hubbard - Serenity' of 23 Sept 1996
RI-699i 'How Jutta destroys FLAG's Richard Reiss' of 23 Sept 1996
RI-445i 'Jutta more cause over L. Ron Hubbard' of 5 Jan 1996
- About facing and understanding evil and Suppressive Persons
The 'Understanding Suppression Series':
http://AmbassadorForMankind.org/ri-bulletins/usp.htm
RI-908i 'The Ostrich-factor - on facing evil or criminality' 16 July 97
RI-010i 'Confronting a Suppressive' of 12 Oct 1994
RI-058Ri 'Fair Game Series - Treatment of Enemies' of 1 Jan 1995
RI-487i 'Dialogue: On Enemies and Hostility' of 20 Feb 1996
RI-535i '"An Enemy of my Enemy is my Friend" = INSANE' 10 Apr 96
RI-713i 'Handling Attacks Correctly - Space and Love' of 18 Oct 1996
RI-646i 'FACING those who are mean or dishonest' of 31 July 1996
RI-262i 'Creating despite Suppressive Persons' of 20 Aug 1995
RI-024i 'Definition of "Potential Trouble Source" - IMPORTANT' 19 Nov 94
- About RI-Bulletins
RI-380Ri 'Obtaining Truth from the RI-Bulletins' of 1 Nov 1995
RI-50RQi 'RI-xxxi series Archive - Content and Use' 28 Dec 94
Revised and Replaced on 6 March 1996
These references and other RI-Bulletins can well be obtained here - or
at the Library of Koos' writings on
http://AmbassadorForMankind.org/ri-bulletins/
http://AmbassadorForMankind.org/ri-bulletins/usp.htm
http://AmbassadorForMankind.org/ri-bulletins/telepathy.htm
or at the Archives at
ftp://thetics.europa.com/outgoing/adams/RI
ftp://thetics.europa.com/outgoing/adams/RI/USP
Back to the RI-Bulletin index.