Alleee and Franc's
INSOLITOLOGY

Click here to go back to the main page

Nigerian Baiting page

Scamming the scammer : "Bob James"...



Dear Sir,

Its interesting to contact you after the recommendations I received about you. However, Im a senator in our present National assembly, and as well the Chairman Senate Committee on Contract Award National Assembly Abuja.

My main reason of contacting you is to establish a cordial person to person relationship that will enable us do very great business now and in future. But first we have to know ourselves pretty well before we can commence on any transaction because of my status in the society.

As I wouldnt like to engage myself to a dishonest person. Infact I want to invest in your country in some incrative field that will be of good benefit to both of us, but I will require your sincere advise on he better side as youre the one on the ground and more also Im not a businessman, therefore will want somebody who will devote time to manage my foreign investment which I intend to invest with you if God permits us.

I have about US$25,000,000, which I intend to invest abroad with a very honest person; therefore if you convince me of your sincerity, I will proceed to do it with you.
All modalities for the safe and risk free movement of the fund to you has been adequately arranged therefore feel free to contact me via e-mail or my telefax no: stated above.
Further details will be given to you upon response

Your Sincerely,

SENATOR Bob james.




Dear Sir-or shall I say, Buenos Dias, Senior:

I didn't know they had Senators in little ciudads! I thought all you guys did was sit around and drink Cervesas! What are you the senator of? Cock-Fighting? (I crack me up.) :D

I am very flattered to learn that I was recommended to you! You see, on one very windy night, I threw back my Laura Asley gingham curtains, threw up the window of my potpourri-scented window, and threw my angel-wish, written on lavender parchment (so it would easily biodegrade) out to the winds. I see that my own personal angel must have picked up the letter in answer to my prayer, for here you and your money are! :)

My name is Helen Steiner Rice. I am the director of marketing for Puffy Paint Postcards Limited. (Well, I *hope* to be, someday.) Currently I write the little inspirational poetry one might find on the inside of our beautiful cards-with a surprise! Shhhh....(I fill each card with a happy handfull of glitter to brighten your day and put a spring in your step and you appear in traffic court with a renewed sense of spirituality-and glittery pants! :)

Here's one of my favorite poems:

ANGELS

One day I saw an angel
As pretty as could be
With wings and halo
Harp and dress
And a great big hug for me! :)

I think I have quite a knack for writing poems. I think it was given to me by my own personal guardian angel, Liesel. She's a dear-she looks exactly like those little cherubim you see in posters in mall art stores. Oh, My...I do think I made a faux pas. You tios and mijos don't have malls, do you? That's too bad. But you DO have those charming outdoor shops where women breastfeed openly. That's so quaint and natural, seeing a woman with a baby in one arm, and leading a milk cow with the other. Watch out for those chickens, Maria Rosita Anita Angela Ascencione! :)

Don't you Gaspachos have angels, too? I heard that your angels wear armour and carry swords! *Shudder!* What must it be like to have such a fierce guardian angel? Oh, well, I guess it protects you from those Revoluciones and Banditoes! Our angels in Americano are always female, blonde, and very gentle. They are more the type to leave a chocolate on your lace pillow, rather than your enemy's head! :O

But now, Liesel has heard my prayer to open my own angel-based greeting card company, with all the money I will receive from you! I could even buy all my teddy bears new outfits with what's left over-I think. ;)

If you give me your home address, I will send one of my very best angel-cards, in gold and silver gel-ink. Just let me know what you need from me, and I will do what you ask, mi corazone!

Bien Venuto,
May flocks of Angels Guide thee to thy Siesta,
Helen Steiner Rice







Last updated 11/2002